Reason
by whiteopium
Summary: Sesshoumaru and Kagome each search for a reason to exist in the present times  eachother.  Prologue: Denial up  How Sesshoumaru met Kagome... again.


**o.O.o  
**

**R E A S O N **

**o.O.o **

Prologue: Denial

After being at the lowest of lows and highest of highs, Kagome and Sesshoumaru find a reason to exist in the present - eachother.

Prologue Summary: Kagome, no longer in the past and leading a boring, unhappy life, feels as if she has no reason to live. Her last straw of sanity is taken when her cousin sells the Shrine. With the last of her spirit, she goes to the Shrine to find out who, exactly, had purchased the Shrine and what for. Once she finally gets this information, it is her goal to find him.

**o.O.o**

Kagome bit down on her bottom lip.

Her psychiatrist was focused on her, looking at her as if she was the small child who was guilty of stealing a cookie.

"Why continue to live in denial, Kagome? Just hear me out. You know it is what is best for you."

She looked up from her clenched hands that were resting in her lap and into the eyes of her psychiatrist, Dr. Harata. She had been seeing him the past few days, as was suggested by her coworkers at the grocery store after having a few breakdowns.

_'Huh? Denial?'_

He tapped a pen against his chin in thought. "Medication for this is readily available for you. You have insurance, even if it is very little."

**She could still remember the feeling of the warm light flowing from the Shikon jewel as she fell through the well. Wherever it had gone when it was used, it probably took her sanity with it.**

"I didn't come here because I wanted medicine, Dr. Harata. I only came here because my coworkers said-"

"Isn't that why everyone comes here?"

He pulled out the pad of prescriptions, "Either they want to spotlight that they can't handle their emotions or they want meds. Sometimes, maybe both. Now, which is it, Kagome?"

**She hoped it was the last battle with Naraku, and that her friends were okay. All she knew is that she would never see them again.**

"I just need to accept that they are gone. They would've sought me out by now if they were alive," Kagome huffed, reminding herself why she needed his help._ 'Who's the doctor here?'_

Dr. Harata airily chuckled, "Kagome, Kagome, Kagome. We both know that this is some dream you made up in an attempt to replace the father you never knew."

**The Shikon jewel had, somehow or another, been used, as it was simply gone. She could feel it being used as it was, but she didn't know what provoked it or what it did when it was used.**

"That's not it at all," she replied, "It's not an attempt to do _anything_. It was _real_."

"You have to accept that it wasn't, Kagome. Just like you said. It's the only way you can live a normal life and start dating again."

**She could also remember the horrid pain when she was being slashed by Naraku, leaving a poisonous gash on her stomach and forearm. Poison seeped through, and it was the worst pain she had ever felt.**

_'Thanks for the help. Damnit, why doesn't anyone believe me? Am I really crazy?' _

"Ask anyone!" Kagome finally shouted, her hands smacking against the wooden coffee table in front of her, "Well, anyone who was there, I mean."

She blushed at her rash action.

He sighed, "Kagome, you're making this difficult. It's really simple."

He shook the pad of prescriptions at her.

"Mama! Or Grandpa!" Kagome frowned, "Well, maybe not Grandpa, but... Souta! That's right, ask Souta! Souta doesn't think I'm crazy, he saw him, too! He saw InuYasha! He tried to teach him to play video games, but his claws-"

**She squeezed down hard on the full Shikon jewel in her palm - "biting the bullet" - so to speak. **

"So,_ this _runs in the family, does it?" The young, proud psychiatrist ran a hand through his dark brown hair and groaned.

"_This_? What do you mean by _this_?" Kagome got off of the squishy blue couch she was sitting on, "_This_ isn't a disease. _This_ is the truth! InuYasha... InuYasha is real. InuYasha-"

_'At least he _was _at one time. Will I ever find him? Wouldn't he have looked for me by now? He promised__ he would never leave me!'_

"Is a figment of your imagination due to the delirium of one mental disorder or another, perhaps? Yes, that sounds about right."

He started scribbling his name on the pad of prescription sheets.

"What kind of a name is InuYasha anyways? Creative, at best!" he huffed.

**And before she knew it, or even thought of a wish for the Shikon jewel to grant like in all those fairy tales...**

She huffed in response._ 'There's no getting through to this idiot.'_**  
**

**...she hit the ground, completely unharmed and her uniform unstained, but completely without the past and a future.**

"I'm a doctor, Kagome, and I assure you this medication will help." Dr. Harata handed Kagome the prescription. She narrowed her eyes at him before taking it and storming out of the office.

_'That's not true, is it, InuYasha? You are real.' _She rolled her neck back and exhaled deeply after getting on the bus,_ 'Well, maybe you _were_ real.'_

**There was no place in the future for one who's life only had meaning in the past.**_  
_

**o.O.o **

When she arrived home, she placed the unwanted prescription in the trash. She wanted to cry, but she tried to not do that anymore. After purchasing a hand-made bow and arrow set, she learned she couldn't still purify things with an arrow. But what was there to purify in the present, anyways? She searched all over for any traces of demonic aura and found nothing but some elderly couples' folklore.

"So, tell me, Mimi, do you think I'm insane?" Kagome stuffed a rice cracker into her mouth and reached into her fridge for a bottle of water.

The tiny gray cat on the counter swayed its tail in response. Kagome fed it part of a cracker.

"It's okay, no one else believes me."

She leaned against the counter, "I even think Souta's starting to forget. Maybe he was too young."

Mimi mewled and curled around Kagome's neck.

"Is everyone really gone?" she said solemnly before looking down at her kitchen floor tiling. "I suppose so... Everyone but me."

Her eyes moved to her window. It was a dark, damp, cloudy day. One that was destined to rain. Somewhere within those dark gray buildings in the city she believed she would find InuYasha. Surely he could survive 500 years if he survived Naraku, right?

_'He's only half-demon... They live varying from their heritage, and even given who his father was, I doubt he's alive.' _

She would've cried if this was five years ago. When she turned twenty-seven, she had promised to herself that she would stop crying. Why cry over something whose existence you can no longer prove?

She fell to the floor in a state of weakness. Her life was crumbling.

"Where are you, InuYasha?" she called out, Mimi staring at the hysterical woman. "I've tried so hard. I've made it so easy for you to find me! Why haven't you?"

She knew that he had to be dead. Where else could he be? If he did survive, he still had his promise to uphold!

InuYasha would always keep that kind of promise. She knew what kind of a half-demon he was.

_'Dog demons have to be like regular dogs in the sense of their loyalty, right? InuYasha was always loyal to me, unless it was with Kikyou, his other promise.'_

But she also knew who she was - Kagome. A person who had everlasting hope. And her last hope was in one place - The Shrine.

******o.O.o **

The phone had to ring a few times before it finally picked up.

"Hello?" an annoyed voice replied, the speaker twirling his finger in the phone cord.

"Shirou?" Kagome asked.

"Yes." Shirou, her distant cousin, replied shortly.

"I... Would it be okay if I stopped by the shrine tomorrow? For old times sake?" She pleaded.

"No."

"Oh, great, that's wonder- hey! What?"

"I said no. It's illegal to invade someone else's property."

"What are you talking about, Shirou? We're family!"

"I'm aware," Shirou drawled, "but it seems you are _un_aware that I sold the shrine. I'm cleaning it right now - the new owners move in tomorrow. Some old, hideous guy bought it. He must've had some awful kind of skin cancer or something."

"You WHAT?" She shrieked, "You didn't!"

"Kagome, your family just dumped the shack on me! I felt obligated because of the old man's death!"

_'How could he?' _Tears formed at the corner of her eyes. "Doesn't family mean anything to you?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you. I was in need of quick cash. I'm living with mother now. I sold the shrine."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've bought it!" Kagome knew she couldn't afford it, but threw it in anyways for added guilt.

"Pfft. What does it matter? Get over it."

Shirou hung up.

Kagome screamed, throwing the phone across her kitchen._ 'They'll destroy it... Destroy it all!'_

She fiercely ripped her clothes off and turned the shower knob to the hottest setting. The mirror was already fogged up. Her abused clothes laid scattered on floor. She stepped into the shower and slammed the sliding door closed.

_'Work... After work, tomorrow, I'll go visit the shrine and demand to see the well - just in case. I just can't go on living without knowing if. I just can't move on without them!'  
_

******o.O.o**

She felt cold, wet, hard ground beneath her knees, palms, and face. She groaned, feeling continuous, unwanted pressure in this position. She opened her eyes, but still she could only see pitch black darkness.

"Hello?" Kagome called out, steadily reaching her hand out to feel for a wall, "Where am I?"

Her hand reached a wall and a vine. "Hello? It's me, Kagome. Is this the Higurashi-err-a shrine?" _'Please say I didn't sleepwalk here...'_

She shook her head to clear out the sleep. "How do I get out of here, again?" She grasped the vine, but it quickly slipped through her hand. "Huh?"

Warm heat tickled her neck and she quickly turned around to see what was causing it. Her heart leaped out of her throat and she waved her hands in front of her face to scare the predator away. _'Please don't let some monster be breathing on me!'_

When the heat continued invading her neck, she remembered the monster that took her from this time to the past with a smile._ 'It was worth being chased all over Kaede's village and getting the Shikon jewel ripped out of my side.' _She pressed her hand against the scar, hoping to sense the jewel, or maybe even just a shard, there.

But there was nothing as the source of the breath pinned her down and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Why are you here?" It asked in a rough, deep voice laced with age.

"InuYasha!" She grinned, clenching her hands in happiness, "It's the first place you would look for me! Here! In the well!"

There she was, pinned with the half-demon on top of her; the one her heart had been begging for.

"Wrong." He replied. He roughly pressed his lips against hers and grabbed her tiny shoulder, "This place doesn't smell like you at all anymore."

Kagome gave into quickly, returning his harsh kiss with her own. "My cousin sold it," She explained, running her hand across his face and chest, but didn't feel his haori, just silk. "InuYasha, where's your..?"

"Stop calling me InuYasha."

The demon moved his hands up and down her sides, later weaving into and up her shirt. Kagome liked the sensations the clawed ends of his hands were causing.

"If you're not InuYasha..." She started. He licked the center of her now bare chest and she unconsciously tilted her hips upward.

The demon's face came closer to her own. She could feel her face heat up from his near presence. The light of morning started creeping in the well. Her eyes could now see what was in front of her.

When she looked up into the cold, gold eyes of Sesshoumaru, her heart screamed in confusion, surprise, and pleasure. It woke her from her scary but delightful dream.

"T-That..." _'was amazing...'_ "was just a dream!?" She quickly tossed herself over the side of her bed and pulled her hair out of her face. '_Further than anything I've ever done with Hojo, anyways.'_

She sighed, gripping the comforter tightly. "It was only a dream, and it will never, ever happen for real." _'Even if it was really with Sesshoumaru...'_

_'Is that really such a bad thing?'_

She didn't even give herself time to think about that.

The tears that always welled up in her eyes wanted out.

******o.O.o**

"Huh?"

Kagome dropped her brief case at the front of the stairs to the shrine. Her eyes widened in horror _'Look at the bright side, at least they're not completely destroying it... And you're not making out with Sesshoumaru.'_

She couldn't restrain herself.

"Gahh! Noo! Please stop!" She waved her hands at the construction workers that were marking off areas on the grass to place cement. "This is history you're destroying! My home!"

Some crude-looking workers eyed her brief case. Kagome didn't care.

"What the hell are you doing to my home!?" She cried out, ceasing her flailing arms.

A man with a clipboard and a hard hat approached her, "We are not destroying anything. We're making this old place into a museum."

Her lips formed an 'o'. Somehow, it was all hard to believe. Who had the dire need to make this place into a museum? It did have an actual house in addition to the shrine and well house on the property, after all.

She approached the man with the clipboard once more, "Say, uh, you wouldn't mind telling me who bought this place, would you?"

The man spat, "Hah. So you can bother them with your whining? _Puh-lease_. I'd prefer to not get fired, thank you very much."

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him, "No. I have the right to know. It _was _my house, after all."

"_Was_." He grinned, revealing a yellow, gap-toothed smile.

"Com'mon already!" She kicked a loose rock by her feet in frustration, "I promise I'll leave you alone if you just tell me who it is!"

"Fine." He flipped through a few papers on his clipboard before finally placing his dirty index finger on a name, "Nishiro."

"Nishiro who?"

"I thought you weren't going to bother him?" The man chuckled, now eyeing Kagome up.

She growled under the breath, taking the clipboard from him. She searched for the name again.

"Nishiro isn't exactly the most common name, you know. I could just search for it. So why not just save me the time and effort?"

"Nishiro... Nishiro... Nishiro..." _ 'Com'mon, where is it!?'_

"Ah!"_ 'I found it!'_

"And the name is..." The man asked, tapping his foot for the clipboard back.

Her eyes widened in shock.

"Nishiro... Sesshoumaru!?"

"Hey, girl! You okay?" The construction worker looked concerned. "You sick?" He meant to get rid of her, not make her ill.

Kagome was shaking. Goosebumps ran down all of her body and the pigment was taken out of her face.

_'THE Sesshoumaru!? No, it can't be!' _She started walking away from the peculiar construction worker,_ 'Nope. Not possible. No way he's alive. How old would he have to be? 2000? Nuh uh, no way, no how. Sesshoumaru did not buy the shrine. Nope.'_

"But what if..." She wondered outloud, trying to think of anyone by the name of Nishiro._ 'Sesshoumaru really isn't that common of a name, though. And I don't see anyone being named after a cold, stoic, dog demon prince. But wow, if that dream really came true!'_

"What if what?" The worker asked, confused.

"My life is... boring." She stated plainly, her clear eyes reflecting truth, "If this is the Sesshoumaru I know, than he may just throw my live a curveball."

She gathered her things and headed towards the bus stop.

_'I simply must find this Sesshoumaru Nishiro. Without him, I only have usefulness in the past.'_

**o.O.o**

_'Why do I feel like a stalker as I'm doing this?'_ She asked herself, typing 'Sesshoumaru Nishiro' into every search engine and yellow page website on the internet. She could feel the glances from the other people in the internet cafe on her back.

Yet, never had she been so anxious to find the powerful demon.

That thought brought her hope down a peg - after all, she hadn't sensed any demons before. There was a slim to none chance he was actually still around. Why would he want the shrine for, anyways? _'This has to be a mistake, but I just can't let it go.'_

Her heart jumped when, after getting no information from the yellow pages, a link to a company under the name of Nishiro came up.

"Nishiro Corporation buys and sells land in residential areas," Kagome read aloud with wonder, "Established in 1897, in Kyoto, Japan, by a distant relative of the current owner, Sesshoumaru Nishiro. Although the company specializes in land ownership and sale, it also has maritime, weaponry, and museum branches."

She wrote down the address to the corporate building and headed off.

**o.O.o**

"Uh, hello?" Kagome called, approaching the receptionist's desk.

The receptionist was a middle-aged woman with slightly graying hair and glasses hanging off the tip of her nose. She stared at Kagome as if she was a lost child.

"Oh, hi there. I'm Kagome Higurashi, and I'm here to see Sesshoumaru, if he's- I mean Mr. Nishiro, if it's okay with you," She explained nervously, not liking the combination of serious and annoyed she was seeing from the receptionist's expression.

"Do you have an appointment?" The receptionist started flipping through a schedule on her desk.

"Ah, well, not exactly," Kagome replied, "You see, it'd be just for a moment, really."

Suddenly, the receptionist starting laughing, "Y-You really think... that you're going to see... Mr. Nishiro?! Without an appointment?!" She cackled a little more, "Haha, you've got to be kidding!"

"No, ma'm, I'm not," Kagome nervously rubbed the back of her head, "Why is it that I can't see him? It'd be just for a moment."

"You cannot see him because," the receptionist stifled her laughter, "because he has other things to do today. You have to make an appointment to see him, which would be at the minimum of three weeks. He's hardly ever in the area. And I doubt he would see _you_. In fact, I also doubt you want to purchase a warship."

"Well, actually, I do want to buy my shrine back. But, I can't wait to see him for three weeks. I need to see him _now_."

"What are you, some hussy trying to say he's your baby-daddy?"

"That's it!" Kagome yelled, running up the stairs to elevator. _'I'm just going to have to barge in there and give him a piece of my mind about his staff! Unbelieveable!'_

When she finally made it into the elevator, she looked at the index posted on the wall. She sifted through many names before she found Sesshoumaru Nishiro's office on the top floor, room 487. She ran down the hallway, earning strange looks from all employees before she arrived at the double doors labeled 487.

She knocked, but there was no answer, and the doors were locked. It would be very easy for the security guards to get to her now.

"I-I can't believe this," she whispered, her knees falling on the ground. "I've come so far, and for nothing?"

Her hands pressed against the wooden door to balance herself. She felt as if they were sinking through, causing her heart to race. Her hands were glowing pink.

_'I might even get arrested now. They'll send me to the nut-house for sure!' _

The door flew open, causing her to fall forward into the office with a squeak. She shook her head to clear her vision, "How the hell did my priestess powers..?"

Once again, she felt strange eyes on her. She looked up from her kneeling position on the carpet to look into the icy eyes of who she had been looking for.

He was sitting at a large desk, looking exactly the same as she remembered. The only difference was his modern clothes and that he looked a little older. Not as old as he really was, though.

"Sesshoumaru!?" Kagome breathed, her heart fluttering with excitement.

"Yes?" He replied, not looking at her but at the paper placed in front of him.

Her excitement left her, and was then replaced with anger. She stared at him. _'Acknowledge me, damnit!' _

**o.O.o**

She continued staring at him furiously and gritting her teeth. She didn't know where to begin.

He didn't even blink at her harsh look. He merely sipped his tea and looked at her as if she was some low-ranking employee he had fired.

"You! You... I can't believe you!" She shouted, clenching her fists, "You know who I am, yet you don't look for me? How the hell am I supposed to know you are here!? You, of all people, should know that you should've looked for me! What were you thinking?"

He actually looked down at her for a moment, and then opened his mouth to speak.

"Ah, yes, that's it - you weren't thinking!" Kagome interrupted, crossing her arms on her chest, "So, you're alive?"

"As you are, obviously." He replied shortly.

"My powers are back?"

"Only in this room and a few other areas."

"How?"

He stared at her. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to find you," she admitted. He looked somewhat surprised. "I wanted to know what happened after I left."

He stood up, gesturing for her to take a seat. She did.

"What does it matter? The past is the past."

"They were my friends. I loved them. What happened to them? I deserve to know."

"Do you?" He replied, somewhat amused.

"Don't you know we're connected like no one else is?" She said softly, a tear creeping over her cheekbone.

"Hmm?"

"Who else is alive that shared that same fight with Naraku? You need to tell me these things! What we did, and that we're still alive to tell the tale, isn't like anyone else, Sesshoumaru! It's special! Rare!"

"What you mean is, that you're alive to tell the tale, but you _won't_." He said with slight irritation, "Now that you're here, and you recognize me; yes, I do suppose you deserve a little information, but you also need to know that it is a great responsibility. It's not only 'special' that you experienced it and lived to tell the tale, it's also dangerous."

"What do you mean?" she whispered, folding her hands together, "Dangerous?"

"Demons, although very few, are still in existence," He explained, strumming his claws against his desk as he leaned over it, "As you know, we have a long lifespan. If humans were to ever find out we live among them, they would be alarmed, scared, and would like to obtain that. It's human nature, and it's accepted. There's nothing that we, as demons, can do as long as humans have the power they do. Nuclear weapons would not only destroy us, but the Earth as well - a pointless battle."

"How did that happen? Y-you hate humans..." She remembered, suddenly realizing who she was dealing with, "Surely you could've destroyed all of them, uh, I mean, _us_."

It had been awhile since Kagome had to speak of humans as a different species among equals. Well, almost equals.

"That's not important," he continued, closing his eyes for a moment, "What is is that you keep your mouth shut. I know that will be a problem for you."

"Hey," Kagome put her hands on her hips, "Okay, then, let's make a deal. You'll answer any question I have for you if I 'keep my mouth shut'?"

He nodded, regretting it immediately after he made the gesture.

**o.O.o**

"You drink?" He asked, motioning the bottle towards her after pouring himself some sake.

"Not often," She replied, eyeing the expensive-looking bottle, "but, okay."

He poured her some and they drank together in the quiet. It had been awkward following him out of the office building and to his apartment. Kagome was completely silent the whole way. Employees gawked and eyed her the whole way out. Her mother had always said to not go to a man's apartment when you first meet him, but it wasn't their first meeting, was it?

After the long moment of silence, Kagome set down her heavy glass and said, "To be honest, I've never been so happy to spend time with you."

"Hn." It was his almost purr-like noise, and, in this case, it meant, "I would be happy if the silence continued, so stop squawking."

"In fact, have I ever been happy to spend time with you?" She asked aloud, not sure herself why she was asking him.

"Doubt it." He poured himself some more, and she waved her hand, signaling that she didn't want any more when he offered.

"You never seemed like the business type. I could_ maybe _see you as a politician, but not involved in business as you are."

"I'm not. I have all my underlings running everything. All I have to be responsible for is myself, the majority of the profit, and whatever dealings I get myself into."

"Do you still fight?"

"Of course," He nodded, looking at his sharp claws, "when it is necessary. It is what I do best"

_'Are you married? No, don't ask those kinds of personal questions. It's really not any of my business, anyways.'_ "Sooo... Is anyone still alive? You know, from_ then_?"

"You need to earn that type of information."

"What?" She huffed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I need to know I can trust you with such before I just tell you, stupid girl."

"What!? That's not fair! It's important to me!"

"So?" He drawled with a smirk, "You're not important to me."

"Fine!" She huffed again, "Can you tell me if you have really been going by 'Sesshoumaru Nishiro' forever?"

"No, just the past thirty years or so," he replied, setting down his cup, "My last two names were 'Seguki Niro' and 'Satoshi Namura'. I went by 'Sesshoumaru' until the humans came into power, then I dropped it and started rotating names to hide suspicion. Every demon does it nowadays."

"I see," she tapped her finger against her chin in thought, "but, I'm sure glad you go by Sesshoumaru again. I would have_ never_ found you!"

"Yes. What a tragedy that would have been if you had never found me." He sighed.

"Ah, well," she glanced towards the ground, "I ought to be going. I have to go to work tomorrow."

"Hmm."

"You know, you should really come with me to my psychiatrist sometime!" She said with a grin, grabbing her purse to leave.

_'What the-? Psychiatrist?'_ Sesshoumaru debated the smiling young woman's sanity while wondering how much more sake he would have to drink to get the annoying ring of her voice out of his head.

She waved at him, "I will definitely be back!"_ 'Who would've thought spending a half-hour with Sesshoumaru, THE Sesshoumaru, would actually be enjoyable? And that he would drink sake!?'_

"Wonderful." He replied sarcastically, downing another shot he poured for himself.

"You'll call me?"

He shot her a questioning glance.

"Oh, okay, I'll call you, then." She giggled.

_'Yup. I've lost my mind.' _

******o.O.o********  
**

******Disclaimer Applying To All Chapters: **InuYasha, characters, storyline, et cetera, do not belong to whiteopium.

**This is my first fanfic, I apologize for everything!  
**

******o.O.o **

* * *

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